POS – Day 17 – LISTEN !!

Question

What should we talk about today?

The Three Cards

• Past: Sabotaging Relationships
• Present: The Fallen Angel
• Future: Perfectionism

Interpretation

Today’s reading feels extremely personal, although I need to remain somewhat vague about the circumstances behind it.

Anyone who has followed my Beyond channel knows that I have developed a fascination with the Book of Enoch, particularly the story of the Watchers. These spiritual beings left their proper realm and entered the physical world to have relationships with human women. Their actions brought severe consequences, and they eventually asked Enoch to carry their appeal to God. They wanted their regret to be heard and their actions explained, but their request was rejected.

I do not want to turn this reading into a religious discussion. What matters to me is the emotional symbolism of the story. I have felt a deep and personal connection to Azazel and the fallen Watchers—not necessarily because of the exact nature of their actions, but because of their desperate need to be heard. They wanted someone to understand why they did what they did, what they had learned, and what they wished they could explain.

That appeal falling on deaf ears touches one of my deepest emotional wounds.

One of the most difficult things for me is when someone refuses to let me explain myself. I can accept disagreement more easily than I can accept being judged without being heard. When someone reaches a conclusion about me without knowing the full story, my intentions, or the person I actually am, it can be deeply painful.

The Sabotaging Relationships card in the past position may literally represent the “sabotaging relationships” the Watchers found themselves in when they came down just to have some “fun” with women. This simple “mistake” trapped them in a material universe with consequences far beyond what they expected. Likewise, when I make simple mistakes (perhaps far less dramatic as the “sin” of the watchers), I would like a little forgiveness and understanding. When I feel misunderstood, I often become increasingly determined to explain myself. I may push harder, provide more context, repeat my intentions, and become frustrated when the other person still does not understand. Ironically, the harder I try to repair the misunderstanding, the more strained the relationship can become.

The Fallen Angel in the present position strongly reflects this feeling of being condemned without being fully understood. It represents someone who has been judged, separated, or cast out, but who still wants the opportunity to explain. It is the feeling of saying, “You may still disagree with me, but at least hear the entire story before deciding who I am.”

The Perfectionism card in the future position may describe what happens next. My perfectionism is not always about performing flawlessly. Sometimes it appears as a need to communicate my intentions with absolute precision. I want to choose the correct words, provide the proper context, and eliminate every possible misunderstanding. I know, fundamentally, that’s impossible. No matter how hard I try, some will judge me simply because they don’t like me or even purposefully pretend they don’t understand me just because they get personal joy out of watching me frustrated trying to explain myself. They don’t even care about the mistake or the reason, they enjoy watching me in torment to to explain it. I play into their hands all the time.

That may explain why I frequently say “listen” in my videos. Beneath that word may be a much deeper request: Please hear what I am actually saying before you judge me.

The problem is that no explanation can completely control how another person interprets me. I can speak clearly, honestly, and thoroughly, but I cannot force anyone to understand. When I forget that limitation, the desire to be heard can turn into overexplaining, frustration, and a pursuit of perfect communication that is impossible to achieve.

I am not certain whether today’s reading is entirely about me or whether it marks the beginning of a new story. Every card in the spread is appearing for the first time, which makes the reading feel like a fresh chapter. The Fallen Angel could represent me, another person who may eventually read this journal or watch this series, or some connection between both of us.

Perhaps the reading is introducing the story of someone who feels condemned, misunderstood, or unable to explain the choices that led them to where they are now. Perhaps that person carries the same wound I do—the fear that others will judge them based on fragments rather than the complete truth.

Whether this reading concerns me, someone else, or a combination of the two, its central message feels clear: the need to be understood can become powerful enough to influence relationships, communication, and self-worth. The challenge is learning to speak honestly without making my peace dependent upon whether another person chooses to listen.